(copyright)
The WALTHER REPORT
By Tony Walther
So Big Brown was a let down. I don’t follow the horses, and I really don’t follow sports in general, but, hey, wasn’t that a big story?
A newspaper I used to work for published a photo of Big Brown before Saturday’s race with the headline: ‘All washed up?’ The horse was being given a bath, but that did seem to be prescient (all those bettors on a sure thing sure took a bath). I know the chief sports guy there. Maybe I should ask him for a hot tip. I got the horse right here; his name is Paul….oh forget it. And for the record (as everyone knows), a 38-1 long shot by the name of Da’ Tara (which in Japanese means, “sayonara suckers!”) beat the other ponies from start to finish all around the track at the Belmont Stakes (you know, the Belmont, which rhymes with Elmont….N.Y.) And by the way, if you bet $2 for Da’ Tara to win, you got $79 back.
And speaking of baseball, how ‘bout those Giants? They’re working real hard this year. New, young players and no more Barry Bonds (thank goodness!). As my friend The Falcon (sports guru) says, “they went from Barry to not scary.” The Falcon, unlike me, is a lifelong sports fan and has followed the Giants since his mother was dropping worms into his up-stretched beak. He was in the baseball card business at one time. He tells of an encounter with Bonds. The Falcon walks into this restroom and who does he see standing in front of the mirror admiring himself and admiring himself, so much so that he was in kind of a trance? Yep. Barry Bonds. But once Bonds came out of it, he seemed like a nice guy, Falcon says.
The Falcon also follows the Golden State Warriors (basketball, as only a non-sportsman like me would feel it necessary to explain) and the Cal Bears (football), and of course, the Niners. And, speaking of the Bears, remember “The Play?” Hey, Even I remember “The Play.” If you don’t recall, think the Stanford Marching Band. Give up? Look it up on Wikipedia, under “The Play.” I actually saw “The Play” on TV at the time (although I think it was a replay of “The Play”) and when The Falcon explained the significance of it to me some time ago, I at first thought maybe my brother Jim took part. No, he didn’t play football, but he was a member of the Stanford Marching Band. But then I realized that he went through Stanford in the 60s and “The Play” didn’t occur till the 80s.
I do recall the times back fifty years ago, in ‘58, when the Giants moved from New York to San Francisco. And I recall the Dodgers moving from Brooklyn out to LA that same year. I bought a Giants cap, but it was too small for my big head and the elastic at the back nearly squeezed my brains out (that may explain some things, that and the fact I was hit by a school bus in first grade). Jim and I used to watch baseball on Saturdays with Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese doing the announcing. I would sometimes ask Jim to explain what was going on. Jim played Little League. I think his position was the bench. My dad advised me against going out for Little League. He knew I wouldn’t have the spirit and would probably get my feelings hurt too easy (not to mention I never had shown any sign of talent in that regard). I had a friend who played catcher on a Little League team. His dad was a nurse at the local hospital. One time when my poor friend missed catching a foul ball, his dad balled him out in front of everyone. It often means more to the parents than the kids. It made me happy that I didn’t go out for Little League and even happier that I knew I had a dad who would never do anything like that.
All red-blooded American boys follow baseball. At least that’s what we are led to believe. I tell you, I’m glad I wasn’t in the Battle of the Bulge and some MP asks me who won the World Series. I’d probably get shot for being a German infiltrator.
In fourth or fifth grade, one of the Chicago teams was in the World Series and one of our class member’s dad was a TV repairman, and he brought a portable TV to the class (and why were we interested in a Chicago team when we lived in Tulare, Ca? And who was the other team? Don’t know). The TV was black and white and it was a big honking thing with an old-time car door-looking handle on top. We all watched the game. I was kind of bored with the whole thing. I didn’t have a clue. The girls probably knew more of what was going on than I did.
Fast forward, one summer a decade ago or more, I got real interested in baseball. I was following the Giants, as I recall. I caught all the games on TV I could and listened through ear phones on radio while I was mowing the lawn. I had become Joe Sports Fan. And wouldn’t you know it? The season was abruptly ended by a players’ strike.
I’m loosely following the Giants this year. So, if you’re a sports fan, a Giants fan in particular, maybe I’ll give you some updates and insights in the future via The Falcon.
– I’ve been posting pages out of two novels I’m writing on a couple of my blog sites, but I may have to hold off on one of them because writing two at a time is a bit much, and yes, I’m actually writing them as I go along (I’m just a little ahead of my blog postings). I noticed a problem in one of them last night and I may cheat and make a minor change in my story (it has to do with a name. One must keep his characters straight). Any questions, just contact me through my blog, or whatever.
–Also, I’ll be away for a few days. Have to go and get a medical consult. So you’ll all have to do without my words of wisdom for awhile. But as my Governator would say: “I’ll be back!”
